Lighthouse Joke LOL

[HollyBird24]

 

[NixNoodleNumbat]

Nice one, HB.

 

[Imp]

That's funny.

 

[HollyBird24]

I love reading things like this about the US and Canada, some are poking fun at the US, some at Canada. Makes me laugh

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

 

[HollyBird24]

"On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this, because, we've seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with. For 22 Minutes, I'm Anthony St.Joseph, I'm Canadian. And I'm sorry."

 

[NixNoodleNumbat]

This is especially funny to me, because Aussies and Kiwis are pretty good friends, and Americans and Canadians are always arguing. Perhaps the ocean between us helps.

 

[HollyBird24]

Heres one for you Nix


G'Day Mate,
I'm not a Jackeroo or 'The Crocodile Hunter', And I don't live in a rusty old shack with a snake in the Outback...
And I only know Johnnie, Jim and Jack in their liquid form,
Although I'm certain they get me really, really ******.

I'm an Aussie, Not a Kiwi,

And use Tomato Sauce, Not Ketchup
It's pronounced 'G'Day Mate', not 'GER DOI --- MAATE'.

I can proudly wear my country's flag as a pair of boxer shorts or a shirt,
I follow Cricket, NOT Baseball,
RUGBY, NOT Gridiron,
And the Kangaroo is a pest, NOT a pet.

An Esky is a solid plastic box to keep your beer cold, and doubles as a chair,
And I drink 'V.B' and not 'Fosters'. 'VICTORIA BITTER'!!!
Australia is the Largest Island in the World!
The First Nation to laugh at our own mistakes, and the best part of the Southern Hemisphere.

MY NAME IS DAVE!! AND I AM AUSTRALIAN!!!!!!!!

 

[NixNoodleNumbat]

I'm happy now.
BTW, I don't say faaaaaack. I say the actual word.
Oh, and to british people(and probably others) for noticing the 'h' in 'herb'!

 

[DinosRBirds]

I'm happy now.
BTW, I don't say faaaaaack. I say the actual word.
Oh, and

to british people(and probably others) for noticing the 'h' in 'herb'!

I notice the h.... its just silent, and i used to get it confused with my teacher Mrs. Erb