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What do you think of that new diner on the moon? Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.

How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.

I'm so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.

Where do boats go when they're sick? To the dock.

What did the sink tell the toilet? You look flushed!

How you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

:frow

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

"Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head.

I happen to have enjoyed it immensely.

Sorry mad as he double toothpicks they let the dogs run.

I lost 3 birds to the neighbors dog, One bird was in the yard hunkered down .. I found her brought her in the coop first I set her on a table she wobbled almost off it. Picked her up again, set her on the floor .. She knows me so did not fright or scare from me. I will kill the damn owner if I...

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.