A closure

[Learning101]

I feel I need to have a closure in life. My baby - ah girl passed away today at 7:00am.

Thank you baby for giving me the best two years of my life. I missed the way you walk when I bring in your breakfast with your favorite mealworms. Missed when you preened your feather everytime I put you down, as if protesting that I had ruffled your feathers. Missed when you play in the water. Missed how you would peck my toes when I didn’t give you enough mealworms. Missed how you would come to the kitchen when I was preparing your breakfast. Missed how you would nap with your head tucked in your feather by the sliding doors. Missed the fun time we had at the waterfall. Missed how you would just minding your business as if whatever happened out there, there nothing to do with me. Missed you dearly. And I know all the good memories I had with you will eventually become a blur as time passes.

wish you would get reincarnated into a better form and be placed in someone’s house who know how to be a good mama. Who knows how to take care of you. Hope we would cross path again and if there a time in future again, come to me and be my girl.

I’m sorry that I’m not a good mama.you were under tube feeding for 2 and a half day. I know I should have sent you in on Sunday but I didn’t because I felt you were showing sign of anxiety. I should have tubefed you earlier but I was too coward to do it. I thought as long as I put you in a stressless situation you would slowly start eating yourself. Just when I had decided to tube feed you the next morning when I came back from work, you had decided to leave me.

I am sorry for not being a good mama. Life is about dealing with losses. This is the third loss I dealt in my life. I felt very stupid very irresponsible. I don’t know what to do to absolve my sin, my sin of not taking good care of you. If I’m not blinded by my own stupidity , you might still be with me.

Sorry baby. Sorry

 

[SmiYa0126]

Sending warm hugs to you! Please be kind to yourself no one is perfect

 

[ruthhope]

Your girl was beautiful. I am sad for you and her

But don't beat yourself up about this. Tube feeding can tide over a duck who is not eating while they recover from or are treated for a recoverable condition. Many duck keepers don't or can't do tube feeding.

It's my belief it is often kindest to offer love and caring and let nature take its way. You might have tube fed her causing distress and she could have still died. Better to pass knowing you are loved.

But apart from wrongly blaming yourself, your closing words are beautiful

 

[BigBlueHen53]

All anyone can do, is the best they can do. You did that. It was enough.

 

[Learning101]

Miss you baby, missed how you always got excited for the weekly fish I bought for you and the nightly snail. Baby miss you so much. Pain is the hardest when memories are fresh. Only time can heal yet I don’t want it to take away the memories I have with you. Thank you for the joy you brought and thank you everyone for the kind words

 

[KathiQuacks]

I had a sweet girl who I did not give the best of care to. She passed so young, and while I don’t know if it was ever truly my fault, I still always blamed myself for her passing. It took a long time, but eventually I forgave myself.

May you, in time, forgive yourself as well and find the strength to heal from this loss The way you write tells me you were a much better mama than you might think.