How to deal with a death

[AtlantisPeeps]

I have had chickens for about 2 years now. I've had many die. Favorites mostly. Today feels like the worst of all. Because it was my fault. I had 8 chicks who were as big as the adults, so they were like 12 weeks old. I had this small hen who was getting picked on by the other adults who nearly killed her twice. Once she healed up, yesterday I put her in with the chicks since they were the same size (some of the chicks were bigger). They seemed to be doing fine. No big fights or anything. So I decided to leave her in there for the night because they would be calm at night, therefore helping her get to know them. I come out this morning, to see my sliver laced polish baby half eaten and barely alive. No blood left. All the others had blood on their faces and feathers were everywhere. I picked up my baby and ran to the house as fast as I could. I patted a warm washcloth on her but she was dead before I could even finish. I had her blood on my clothes with made me realize it was my fault... I've been bawling my eyes out ever since. I don't even know why I'm writing this post. I just need to talk to someone who understands...

R.I.P baby Jersey... I'm sorry I couldnt do more to save you...

 

[allosaurusrock]

That's really harsh. I'm really sorry about what happened. She was a really pretty bird. I would have cried my eyes out too. I don't think it was your fault. You just have some abnormally mean chickens.

 

[beginnergirl]

I have had chickens for about 2 years now. I've had many die. Favorites mostly. Today feels like the worst of all. Because it was my fault. I had 8 chicks who were as big as the adults, so they were like 12 weeks old. I had this small hen who was getting picked on by the other adults who nearly killed her twice. Once she healed up, yesterday I put her in with the chicks since they were the same size (some of the chicks were bigger). They seemed to be doing fine. No big fights or anything. So I decided to leave her in there for the night because they would be calm at night, therefore helping her get to know them. I come out this morning, to see my sliver laced polish baby half eaten and barely alive. No blood left. All the others had blood on their faces and feathers were everywhere. I picked up my baby and ran to the house as fast as I could. I patted a warm washcloth on her but she was dead before I could even finish. I had her blood on my clothes with made me realize it was my fault... I've been bawling my eyes out ever since. I don't even know why I'm writing this post. I just need to talk to someone who understands...

R.I.P baby Jersey... I'm sorry I couldnt do more to save you...

I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is truly horrific. So sorry you lost your dearest Jersey. The one thing I learned in grief groups is that we all do the best we can at the time with the information we have. Although it is normal to blame yourself, please try not to.

There are many online grief support groups that might be helpful. I know there are some for dogs and cats and loss from particular diseases. Hopefully that might be helpful. There are books to support loss too you could check out of your library. Everyone grieves differently. There is no right way to grieve.

Our grief group leader gave out a memory book which was helpful. It had spaces for pictures and memories of happier times.

Try to be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Do what you need to do. Reach out to friends or family that might understand and support you. Not everyone can be supportive at the loss of an animal which can also be disappointing or hurtful.

Again, I am so sorry. This is the worst thing I have read on this forum and I am crying for what you and your poor girl went through.
Hugs,

 

[Eggcessive]

Sorry for your loss. It wasn't your fault. One thing is that putting any chickens together is risky without a long period of getting used to one another through a fence or pen. Then you should be present to watch them interact. It is always safer to start with a group of chickens that were raised together in a group, all the same age. Bad things can happen when mixing ages or getting new chickens at different times. I would not beat myself up about this, as you couldn't predict what would happen, but use this as a learning experience. These things happen. Chickens are very wonderful pets.

 

[cluckcluckgirl]

The death of a personal pet is very tragic. It's no more your fault for the death of her than you were responsible for controlling the other chickens' minds to peck her to death (which you're not). You didn't control those chickens' minds, they were just abnormally mean. I've had some like that and it's no fun. We're here to help you through this loss. It's always hard to deal, but time is a very good healer.

 

[beginnergirl]

Here is a pet bereavement association:
http://www.aplb.org/
They have chat rooms and there is a picture of a bird on their flyer. They have support groups in some areas too.

 

[AtlantisPeeps]

Thanks everyone. You all helped me very much. This morning I was much better, but still couldn't get the image out of my mind... Then, the icing on the cake. My sicillian buttercup chick died for unknown reasons. I loved her even more than Jersey. I just don't know what to do anymore...

 

[LeafBlade12345]

I'm so sorry about both your birds. Losing pets or even livestock is a tough situation. But, as they say, time heals all wounds.

 

[microchick]

Animals all leave paw and claw prints on our hearts that never completely go away.

You loved your birds so you are grieving for them. You are completely normal so please do not be too hard on yourself. What happened wasn't your fault. Chickens will be chickens and we are not made to understand why they act the way they do. To them what they did was just standard operating proceedure.

Consider yourself hugged.

 

[cluckcluckgirl]

Animals all leave paw and claw prints on our hearts that never completely go away.

You loved your birds so you are grieving for them. You are completely normal so please do not be too hard on yourself. What happened wasn't your fault. Chickens will be chickens and we are not made to understand why they act the way they do. To them what they did was just standard operating proceedure.

Consider yourself hugged.

Very well said.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of yet another chick.

It's never easy and that's entirely normal. It would be odd not to grieve the loss of a loved one, human or pet. It's a very emotional time to lose them and sometimes it's best just to let out your feelings.