Are you a parent of a child that wanted chickens as pets who has now lost interest, or is unable to care for the chickens anymore?

[Shadrach]

Circumstances change and this is particularly true for young people as life demands they make changes such as going to college, getting a job, leaving home and forming relationships outside of the family.
What were their pets and hopefully their responsibilities can suddenly become yours.

Should we be encouraging children to aquire pets, particularly when they are teenagers when life changes come thick and fast.
How have you dealt with this?

 

[hunnyjoconnor]

I've dealt with this but not with chickens. Both my daughters have moved out and left their dogs behind. Which is fair since neither dog would have done well in an apartment setting. It was the end of life issues with one of them (the dog not my daughter) that was too much for me. I fell so in love with him after trying really hard not to because of how he came to her. It really broke my heart when I had to put him down. The other dog, she has asked to come and take but I don't feel like it's fair to the dog at this point. Her hamster on the other hand, she can come and get him any time. I feel that if I had to do it over again I would have only allowed family pets into the house, ones that we all agreed up and took care of.

 

[tlcmurphy]

I've dealt with this but not with chickens. Both my daughters have moved out and left their dogs behind. Which is fair since neither dog would have done well in an apartment setting. It was the end of life issues with one of them (the dog not my daughter) that was too much for me. I fell so in love with him after trying really hard not to because of how he came to her. It really broke my heart when I had to put him down. The other dog, she has asked to come and take but I don't feel like it's fair to the dog at this point. Her hamster on the other hand, she can come and get him any time. I feel that if I had to do it over again I would have only allowed family pets into the house, ones that we all agreed up and took care of.

We have family pets only for this exact reason. My oldest will be graduating from college soon and insists she’s getting a dog when she gets an apartment. Over my dead body, she’ll be lucky if she can handle a new job and her own issues fresh out of college.

In addition to our 2 family dogs and my chickens, I also have “custody” of her betta fish, who knew those things live for years. She can take him with her when she moves out. I’ve also got her plants, because they die in her care

 

[Shadrach]

What prompted me to write the post was a friend who against their better judgement let his daughter get 5 hens has recently announced she has fallen in love with a guy and is moving out. He asked if I could take the hens which unfortunately I can't.

 

[EddieSalita]

life demands they make changes such as going to college, getting a job, leaving home and forming relationships outside of the family.

Part of parenting is foreseeing this when the decision is made. Obviously it depends on the age of the child, and other factors.

Our kids are long moved out. But my wife and I used this as an opportunity for even more learning. We used to draft agreements with the child. Which in and of itself was a teaching moment. Outlining their and our responsibilities with said pets, and several other things we considered serious responsibilities. Contingencies were always a part of the agreement. They outline what should happen when the responsibilities you know they won't always uphold are broken.

Sometimes just drafting the agreement was enough to have the novelty wear off. Sometimes not. But it helps provide real consideration of the commitment.

Always knowing in our minds that circumstances and interests change. If the child's interest didn't align with our and our family goals, it was not something that came to pass. The buck stopped with us. One day we hope they learned that the buck stops with them when they had kids. Which has mostly been the case.

When our dogs had pups, our eldest wanted one. We knew full well he was of an age where he would move out before the dog died of old age. In that agreement was a recognition of this fact. He agreed to pay for any vet bills, and a monthly stipend for food should he not be able to take it with him. We didn't want it to be a burden to him. But he couldn't get out of it for free either. if he moved to a place where he couldn't take the dog. We knew we would keep it here than see it be a burden to a young man embarking on his life. He was adamant. So he had to provide mature consideration to these things. Child support for pets.
We wouldn't have agreed to do it if we weren't willing to ultimately carry the can. He was an awesome pup, so we found a way.

Of course kids are kids and parents are in reality made to be responsible for some of their choices. This thread is a great example.

Part of learning parenting is learning how to choose your battles. Because agreements will be broken. Mistakes will be made. Can't anticipate everything. The dog lived with us for a few years after he moved out. Then went back to him for a couple. Then back to us. The overriding rule was that pets are to never be re homed. They are for life.

Which is also why when the kids wanted a cockatoo the answer was always NO! They live longer than humans,

 

[Evadig]

Circumstances change and this is particularly true for young people as life demands they make changes such as going to college, getting a job, leaving home and forming relationships outside of the family.
What were their pets and hopefully their responsibilities can suddenly become yours.

Should we be encouraging children to aquire pets, particularly when they are teenagers when life changes come thick and fast.
How have you dealt with this?

From the viewpoint of the young person:
I will be 23 and graduating from college this summer. My parents got me the dog in my profile picture when I was eighteen (she's five now). I did not want to go to college so they let me get a bunch of poultry if I would go (I did online). Now we have a total of thirty - something animals.
I am looking to join the military or get a job in the city, so now we have all these animals and I am hoping to be out of here. The fact is, as much as I love my pets, I am going to have to rehome them. I will keep the dog, and if I should end up in the military my family would take care of her (they don't mind).
Looking back, I think that I would have still allowed my younger self to get some animals, but not 30+. It has been a valuable learning experience, but it also has involved a lot of frustration and most likely will include some heartbreak when I have to rehome them.
So, I don't think I'd encourage a teenager to acquire pets, but I would let them as long as they're open to the realization they might have to give them away.
Edited to add that they are only going to people who will take care of them. We know people from church who would love them so that's not an issue.

 

[AinaWGSD]

Family pets only is actually a really good policy. And I never really thought about it, but that's the deal at our house actually. I understand that, as the adult in the situation,  I am the one ultimately responsible for the animal. So if it's not a pet I'm willing to take on full responsibility for it's not an animal that will be living at my house.

The only exception to that was my dad's dog. When he died we inherited her and, while I didn't really want her and was not bonded with her, I absolutely couldn't see euthanising her just because she was old and no one in the family really wanted her. I never did really bond with her, but we took care of her and made her as comfortable as we could for about a year before she went down and couldn't get back up. I stayed with her when we euthanized her and yes, I did cry for her.

 

[notabitail]

I was the child that didn't exactly care for the idea of chickens. But one look at tiny Chicken Abigail and I was sucked in. I plan to stay with these birds as long as they're here.