MJ's little flock

[ManueB]

I keep wondering whether I made her food too watery, whether I should have fed her more often than recommended, was the bread bad for her, why did all those pellets cause weight loss the other night... on and on.

Like Shadrach said recently, sometimes doing one's best is just not enough. It's even harder to accept with a younger pullet and after having gone through all this, and not knowing exactly.
But in the end I think one way or the other the answer is just that her body was not strong enough to fight the bacteria.
There's no guilt to be had. Just grief .

 

[Perris]

I really did my best.

I hope euthanasia was the right decision. It's so hard to be sure.

absolutely. You went way above and beyond what most would do. She was very lucky to have you. Try to remember her when she was well.

 

[Perris]

I keep wondering whether I made her food too watery, whether I should have fed her more often than recommended, was the bread bad for her, why did all those pellets cause weight loss the other night... on and on.

you are focusing on the food, which was not the cause of her problem, but merely the hoped-for remedy to her problem. Her weight loss was just the symptom of something going seriously wrong in her digestive system. You must not beat yourself up with what-ifs about how you tried - following an excellent vet's advice - to help her. Please be kind to yourself

 

[RoyalChick]

Oh MJ, that is all just the sadness talking.
Her digestive system was shutting down and she could not absorb the nutrients you were giving.
There is no way that the consistency of the food you gave her, or the breadcrumbs were responsible.
Her body was shutting down for reasons that may forever be a mystery.
I experienced the same with Bella who in the end couldn’t even move the food I fed her through her system let alone benefit from its nutrition.
Please stop blaming yourself. You did a wonder job with her and most importantly you took on the hardest decision of all, to end her suffering.

 

[LozzyR]

Oh MJ, that is all just the sadness talking.
Her digestive system was shutting down and she could not absorb the nutrients you were giving.
There is no way that the consistency of the food you gave her, or the breadcrumbs were responsible.
Her body was shutting down for reasons that may forever be a mystery.
I experienced the same with Bella who in the end couldn’t even move the food I fed her through her system let alone benefit from its nutrition.
Please stop blaming yourself. You did a wonder job with her and most importantly you took on the hardest decision of all, to end her suffering.

This seems to be the same with Lottie; she just didn't seem to be able to absorb nutrients. I can stop feeling guilty that I didn't crop-feed her. Hugs to both you MJ and RC.

 

[MaryJanet]

Like Shadrach said recently, sometimes doing one's best is just not enough. It's even harder to accept with a younger pullet and after having gone through all this, and not knowing exactly.
But in the end I think one way or the other the answer is just that her body was not strong enough to fight the bacteria.
There's no guilt to be had. Just grief .

Yeh.

I need to stop dwelling on Lorna's last few days, while still gaining as much learning as I can from it.

 

[MaryJanet]

absolutely. You went way above and beyond what most would do. She was very lucky to have you. Try to remember her when she was well.

Thank you for saying that Perris.

I will try to remember her at her best.

 

[MaryJanet]

you are focusing on the food, which was not the cause of her problem, but merely the hoped-for remedy to her problem. Her weight loss was just the symptom of something going seriously wrong in her digestive system. You must not beat yourself up with what-ifs about how you tried - following an excellent vet's advice - to help her. Please be kind to yourself

That's a good point. I was focusing on the food, which wasn't the cause of her problems. Thanks for pointing that out.

I have an instinct to blame myself because I'm not very experienced yet, but some struggles just can't be won.

If she really did have a congenital problem like today's vet thought, the best expert in the world couldn't have saved her without surgery, and even then it would've been iffy.

 

[MaryJanet]

Oh MJ, that is all just the sadness talking.
Her digestive system was shutting down and she could not absorb the nutrients you were giving.
There is no way that the consistency of the food you gave her, or the breadcrumbs were responsible.
Her body was shutting down for reasons that may forever be a mystery.
I experienced the same with Bella who in the end couldn’t even move the food I fed her through her system let alone benefit from its nutrition.
Please stop blaming yourself. You did a wonder job with her and most importantly you took on the hardest decision of all, to end her suffering.

I'm pretty sure she was fading out of life and that continued crop-feeding would've prolonged her suffering.

 

[MaryJanet]

To add yet another edge to my day of extreme chickening, I just had the extraordinary good luck to witness Janet lay an egg. At 8.33pm. In the big coop. Not in the nest.

She was acting strange in an eggy way and I thought, "Oh no, Jan's egg bound." Nope. Just waiting for it to come out.

Ivy and Peggy were as surprised as I was and we all gathered around to watch it drying off.