Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[effie]

Quote:
X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

WOW-you take the cake!!!! I guess then most of us parents on here are socially repressed since they didn't even have these things when we grew up and got our asses busted too!!!!!!! you're right ,lets just keep raising and spoiling this generation of self-entitled ,rude kids to let them grow up and run this country when all they know how to do is stand there with their hand out for more. We always had a houseful with 5 kids and their friends--they are all grown now and one friend came to visit one day and made this comment "we always liked coming to your house because you had rules". we get comments still to this day on how polite and respectful our kids are-makes us proud. we weren't tyrants-it was a fun house-but we did parent!!!!!

 

[SillyChicken]

We had a very difficult time with my DH's DD, we removed her from her mothers custody and set ground rules (something she never had) she didn't like them. It was a constant battle to teach her, that the world is full of rules, if you behaive responsibly, you get more freedom and privleges. I found out my DSD had an email through the library at school. I figured out her pass word and hacked into her email......was that mean? If I found nothing, maybe. But I didn't, I found that she was emailing adult males, talking very explicitly, telling them she was 18 (she was 14), where she lived, and that her father and I beat her (we never laid a hand on her). She was setting herself up to be a victim. We would email the men and tell them the truth and threatened them heavily if they came near her. (she never heard from them again thank goodness) We had lots n lots of things going on like this till we had no choice but to boot her back to her mother. She ended up moving out after realizing what kind of person her mom was.... and has grown up and gone to college. DSD admits now that we were right in what we did, and she thanked us for being so hard nosed about things.

If I still had a kid, they would be allowed access, but it would be under my conditions. I pay for the service, I pay for the consequence of the kids bad behavior.. my rules , I wouldn't monitor their activity as much, if they were trust worthy.. trust and privacy is something kids must earn. It's not something owed to you or that you deserve.

Chickangel79
Your comment is full of ignorant assumptions! When you grow up you will understand, for now you have nothing to go by because you haven't experienced as much as you think you have. As far as kids going ballistic at schools killing other kids....... generally you'll find these kids were tormented by those same kids. Not because their parents had expectations or rules.
They were abused by kids that had no respect for other kids that were different, slow or didn't "fit".

 

[toejam]

Now my mom doesn't look at my facebook, texts, and my laptop/iPod history but could if she really wanted to.I try not to let her see me on facebook, is it because I'm hiding something,no, but that's just the way I am I don't like people looking at my stuff. And can't stand people breathing over my shoulder unless I tell them to see something. I recently got the HTC EVO 4g, my 1st phone with Internet and getting picture messages. She said she can check it whenever,anyhow I know to be extra careful with a phone. Now I hope she never checks my iPod lol, because of the music I listen to. She doesn't like rap and I do,and have a lot... O she does know when a friend is comming over or I'm going over to ones house. She knows all my friends parents or the kids themselves so she doesn't worry. She also doesn't care what we do over there as long as its not illegal. And ONCE she took me and a friend to see the hangover 2(this surprised me even) but made my friend call his mom and get approval. you don't agree with how she does things that's fine.

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
As a prent of two teen girls ( and please don't take this the wrong way) but not a chance I would "ask" my children if I could have acess... I have acess or you get nothing! Its that simple-I pay the bills they belong to me until you move out and pay for them yourself..just saying

YOur house, your rules

We do have security on all pcs and they are timed to turn off at 8pm too

So very true! Whatever works for your household or anyone elses household is the best way to go. I am a gastapo in my house but a very fair loving mom-You break my trust your pay the consequences dearly. I have yet to have either of my children repeat rediculious things...

 

[stargazingmommy]

Quote:
Smart phones are a problem.. like you said, they ARE mini computers. My kids will be allowed to have a phone, maybe sooner than I was planning, but no smartphone.. basic phone, under my account until they can pay for one themselves. I do believe a cell phone can be beneficial if your kids are in after school activities or they spend alot of time at friends houses etc. I like to know I can reach them if I need them.

most carriers will allow you to block internet access and allow texting and clling only

 

[kemclaughlin]

Quote:
If I found out my child was doing this, I would remove all the computers that they have access too and they would not be allowed anywhere where there is an accessible computer. I have and will have complete access to all my children's internet activities. He may seem nice, but all predators do.

 

[toejam]

One thing on fake accounts, they aren't always bad. A few friends have createdbsome for there pets, and my brother made a fake account to help him like boost in some game... And believe me... He is one of the last kids on earth who would do something bad... He doesn't even have friends on his other account

 

[stargazingmommy]

Quote:
X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

Actually those Mass murder high school kids get all their plans and ideas off the internet. Yup.

 

[Louise's Country Closet]

Quote:
Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

WOW-you take the cake!!!! I guess then most of us parents on here are socially repressed since they didn't even have these things when we grew up and got our asses busted too!!!!!!! you're right ,lets just keep raising and spoiling this generation of self-entitled ,rude kids to let them grow up and run this country when all they know how to do is stand there with their hand out for more. We always had a houseful with 5 kids and their friends--they are all grown now and one friend came to visit one day and made this comment "we always liked coming to your house because you had rules". we get comments still to this day on how polite and respectful our kids are-makes us proud. we weren't tyrants-it was a fun house-but we did parent!!!!!

I actually thought that was funny - socially repressed because their kids can't text? Give me a break. I'm afraid of what our kids are going to be like in this generation, with texting and internet more widely used than a phoneline and face-to-face communication. It kills me to say this because it makes me feel oooolld and I'm only 28 - but back when I was a kid, there was no texting and internet was only just becoming widely used when I was in high school (or at least in my town it was), so when we wanted to talk we had to use the phone or bike our way to our friend's house. THAT is being social - I don't think texting counts as an actual conversation, sorry to say. Especially when the conversation consists of mostly chatspeak, which makes even the smartest person look like an idiot.

 

[chicknerd]

Quote:
Agreed. It's not my kids I did not trust, it was the other people online. I knew all my kids passwords or they did not get on the computers. They knew and understood this - we never had an issue- I told them as long as they did not give me a reason to need to check I would respect their privacy. But I reserved the right to spot check anytime I wanted. I also made sure they knew it was others I did not trust, not them.

Your friend may have a good friend in Korea but more than likely he is not. He may not even be what he says he is. There is no way you can be sure at all. Her mother has every right to be concerned.

Once my kids became adults, the rules changed.