People Who Invite Themselves Over

[DrakeMaiden]

What do you do about those problem people who 1. you don't know very well, 2. you aren't interested in knowing better and 3. who invite themselves over?

My husband tends to let people walk all over him. I like to set and keep boundaries. We are currently fighting over the fact that his acquaintance has decided he is going to come over and work on my husband's motorcycle, even though my husband told him he doesn't have time to deal with it.

The days are short here, we have a lot to do, and the guest bathroom is currently a duck hospital. Sorry for the off-topic rant, but I am very frustrated and could use 1. a good laugh or 2. some advice. Thanks.

 

[silkiechicken]

Drive the bike to a real friends place and tell your husband to tell his "friend" to beat it because the bike is gone.

 

[JenniferJoIN]

Or, you could put the motorcycle in the bathroom with the ducks. And take random pictures of the aquaintance playing twister to get to the bike!

 

[LynnGrigg]

Don't answer the door or...
Answer the door in your pajamas

Act too busy to socialize and
don't offer food and/or drink

Move the motorcycle to a friends(neighbors) temporarily
and tell him another pal took it home to tinker with it.

I know what you're saying and much as you guys may not want to, you may have to be just a little rude for him to get the idea. Good luck and hey.... it could be worse! Me and my husband could come over, tell stupid corny jokes, eat all your food and drink all your beer. However with me, I'd be bringing food for you guys to eat and make you eat it. lol! I love to cook.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Thanks for the suggestion, silkiechicken. It clarifies the real problem: while the guy isn't a candidate for real long-term friendship, my husband is the sort who will just string the guy along, without meaning any harm of course. What really sucks is that he wants ME to tell the guy he's not welcome to come over.

I have to be the bad guy. We can't present a unified front.

 

[schmoo]

Thats a tough one, sounds like my DH too. Total pushover. Good for me sometimes but not always.

I think its really on your DH -either tell him to get it through the guys head that his help is not needed or tell DH to have fun outside fixing a bike he's too busy to fix with someone he doesn't care to know. He will eventually get sick of it.

Better yet tell the guy to take it home and fix it there

 

[arlee453]

You can find excuses (ie, tell him you have an appt, then get everyone dressed and leave the house and drive around just so he'll leave, or tell him the cycle is gone) and MAYBE he'll get the hint, EVENTUALLY..... I believe in just biting the bullet and being direct (in a kind as possible way).

Next time he just shows up, just say "Joe, we appreciate your willingness to help with the cycle, BUT now is just not a convenient time for us. Next time, please call before you start out so you won't waste a trip if we are busy."

If that doesn't do it, then he's just clueless and you may have to be a bit less kindly...

My DH had 'friends' that I absolutely didn't like or approve of - they were internet 'friends' and we really didn't know much about them, but yet they asked if they could stay at our house on the way somewhere and of course he said 'SURE'. When I asked DH how long, he said, well, I THINK just one night... that was my first sign that there would be trouble to come!

THREE nights later, I'd had enough - these people STANK - they had been living out of their car for the trip from NY for a few weeks. I kept hinting around - 'there's SOAP and FRESH TOWELS in the bathroom for you...hint hint' but they wouldn't bathe! I was so ready for them to GO AWAY. Finally I told my DH that he was going to tell them that they needed to move on the next day or I WOULD and I would not be as nice to them as he would be. I told him to feel free to put it all on me if he wanted to but that he had to come up with some way to tell them that they were not welcome to stay another night.

Blamed it all on me, but he told them they had to go and they did. Thankfully. Did I care one bit that they thought I was the B%&^*??? Nope, just meant to me that they were not likely to ask to say again!

Good luck!! At least he's not bringing his sleeping bag and laundry.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Love it JenniferJoIN.

Hey, LynnGrigg. I'd always be willing to stop what I'm doing, talk chicken/duck, and have a beer or two. You wouldn't be an imposition.

schmoo -- what to do with these pushover men? I can only hope my husband would get sick of spending time with this guy. He comes home and complains about this and that, but then a year or so later goes out and does it again.

 

[SpottedCrow]

Claymores are great for this sort of thing...

Either the mines OR the swords...

Answer the door with no clothes on...and ask if he'd like to join...


Put the bike in with the ducks is really a great idea.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Good advice arlee453. You worded it well, and I'll have to use that wording . . . and hope I don't have to get more assertive.