Me too. Great minds-----------------------------------
*sigh* I'm loosing my touch. (Warning: Hi-jacked by Em)
- Thread starter Chickengal505
- Start date
(Oops - guys, we're supposed to make her laugh, not cry!)
Where's a pie in the face smiley when you need one?
Where's a pie in the face smiley when you need one?
Last edited:
I have entered -- and won -- the pie eating contest
at our family reunion.
Spook is a very good pie-eater...
at our family reunion.
Spook is a very good pie-eater...
Yes, yes you probably are a champion, Spook.
what kind of pies were they, Spook?
Make sure you stock up on donuts before starting though.
OK, Alaskan thinks this story is funny
from this site
http://faq.gardenweb.com/faq/lists/midatl/2002093410028749.html
* Posted by: MrsBeasley 4a Northern Ont (My Page) on Wed, Feb 20, 02 at 21:56
My MIL had a big, beautiful garden on the side of a hill, and as her family was getting smaller, she offered me all the space I wanted. I planted a lot of vegetables, but the mistake I made was that I planted the whole packet of turnip (rutabaga) seeds. I had a row of turnip 50 feet long. I had the nicest crop of turnip you could imagine. There was only my husband and myself to eat them, but I know lots of people that like them, I could give some away.
When it came time to harvest them, I worked my heart out. I'd cut off the root and leaves, and fill the wheelbarrow, trot the wheelbarrow down the row and pile the turnips on the grass. I worked for hours!
Finally, I was done, I took the knife into the house and washed it off, and went back out to the garden to admire my turnips. I had a pile of turnips as tall as I am. I was almost up to this great pile when a few turnips at the bottom of the pile moved, the whole lot of them started rolling down the hill. I was chasing after them, I'd gather a few in my arms and when I'd reach for another the ones in my arms would get away and continue down the hill. I must have made quite a sight, because my brother-in-law was laughing at me. "You'd better catch them," he called, "They're going to wipe out the neighbor's house"!
I eventually got them rounded up, but it turns out everyone doesn't like turnip the way I do!
I wound up serving turnip at least once a week in every way you can imagine. I served them boiled, fried, in stew, I cooked them up and added pumpkin pie spice and made fake pumpkin pie! I thought it was rather inventive of me, but it was the turnip fritters that finally did me in. My husband took one bite and gasped. He had thought that he was biting into an apple fritter. He said he didn't care if he NEVER ate another turnip! I was NOT to grow them ever again! I guess he just doesn't have a sense of humor! LOL
from this site
http://faq.gardenweb.com/faq/lists/midatl/2002093410028749.html
* Posted by: MrsBeasley 4a Northern Ont (My Page) on Wed, Feb 20, 02 at 21:56
My MIL had a big, beautiful garden on the side of a hill, and as her family was getting smaller, she offered me all the space I wanted. I planted a lot of vegetables, but the mistake I made was that I planted the whole packet of turnip (rutabaga) seeds. I had a row of turnip 50 feet long. I had the nicest crop of turnip you could imagine. There was only my husband and myself to eat them, but I know lots of people that like them, I could give some away.
When it came time to harvest them, I worked my heart out. I'd cut off the root and leaves, and fill the wheelbarrow, trot the wheelbarrow down the row and pile the turnips on the grass. I worked for hours!
Finally, I was done, I took the knife into the house and washed it off, and went back out to the garden to admire my turnips. I had a pile of turnips as tall as I am. I was almost up to this great pile when a few turnips at the bottom of the pile moved, the whole lot of them started rolling down the hill. I was chasing after them, I'd gather a few in my arms and when I'd reach for another the ones in my arms would get away and continue down the hill. I must have made quite a sight, because my brother-in-law was laughing at me. "You'd better catch them," he called, "They're going to wipe out the neighbor's house"!
I eventually got them rounded up, but it turns out everyone doesn't like turnip the way I do!
I wound up serving turnip at least once a week in every way you can imagine. I served them boiled, fried, in stew, I cooked them up and added pumpkin pie spice and made fake pumpkin pie! I thought it was rather inventive of me, but it was the turnip fritters that finally did me in. My husband took one bite and gasped. He had thought that he was biting into an apple fritter. He said he didn't care if he NEVER ate another turnip! I was NOT to grow them ever again! I guess he just doesn't have a sense of humor! LOL
Alaskan lives in a town where the only place to buy donuts... is the GROCERY STORE!
If Spook lived here, he would be a very, very skinny Spook!
Alaskan.... still stabbing egg cartons and glaring at the incubator (maybe evil glaring is best)
I know it's a lot to read Wisher, but maybe this will cheer you up.
Roping a deer
I had this idea, that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it corn for a couple of months, then kill it and eat it...
The first step in this adventure was 'getting' a deer. I figured, since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me, (A bold one will sometimes, come right up and sniff at the bags of
feed, while I am in the back of the truck,... not 4 feet away) it should
not be difficult to rope one, get to it and toss a bag over its head,
(to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end, with my ready rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, the deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a
likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
lasso. The deer just stood there, staring at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end, so I would have
a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but I could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step toward it... It took a step away. I put a little tension
on the rope and then received an 'education'.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED like a rocket!
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer... NO chance!
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me off my feet and drag me, when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that creature off the end of that
rope.
I figured if I just let it go, with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slowly and painfully, somewhere.
At the time, there was no love, at all, between me and that deer. At
that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess... the
feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots, where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder... a little trap I
had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse, where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head... almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it HURTS!
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the 'tarnation' out of
my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal (like a horse) strikes at
you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to
do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer... so obviously, such trickery
would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you, is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead, is paw your back and jump up and down on
you, while you are laying there, crying like a little girl and covering
your head.
I finally managed to crawl under my truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why, when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope, and stay as far away from that deer until they are sure it is
edible!
Roping a deer
I had this idea, that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it corn for a couple of months, then kill it and eat it...
The first step in this adventure was 'getting' a deer. I figured, since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me, (A bold one will sometimes, come right up and sniff at the bags of
feed, while I am in the back of the truck,... not 4 feet away) it should
not be difficult to rope one, get to it and toss a bag over its head,
(to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end, with my ready rope.
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, the deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a
likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
lasso. The deer just stood there, staring at me.
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end, so I would have
a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but I could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step toward it... It took a step away. I put a little tension
on the rope and then received an 'education'.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED like a rocket!
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.
A deer... NO chance!
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me off my feet and drag me, when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that creature off the end of that
rope.
I figured if I just let it go, with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slowly and painfully, somewhere.
At the time, there was no love, at all, between me and that deer. At
that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess... the
feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots, where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder... a little trap I
had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would
have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse, where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head... almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it HURTS!
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim
by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the 'tarnation' out of
my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal (like a horse) strikes at
you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to
do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer... so obviously, such trickery
would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you, is that there is a good chance that it will hit
you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and
knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead, is paw your back and jump up and down on
you, while you are laying there, crying like a little girl and covering
your head.
I finally managed to crawl under my truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why, when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope, and stay as far away from that deer until they are sure it is
edible!
I am getting lots of ideas for prizes -- pies (what kind, exactly?) donuts (we have a brand new, made 'em in the window, Krispy Kreme, do ya'll have those or is it an Alabama thing?)
Last edited:
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