Sleep talking! Post your looniest statements...

[Kanchii]

I took an ambien last night...

Don't worry, nothing bad happened. But the little squishy cell phone I holder i have on my bed was balanced on my face and my cell phone was thrown across the room when i woke up... weird.

my dad had an ambien trip last week. Woke up around 1am and i heard him in the kitchen being awful loud. he knows me and my mom are light sleepers so I went into the kitchen to give him a peice of my mind and... He's pouring himself a glass of wine! I said "#&&@&@ you LUSH why are you DRINKING WINE and ONE IN THE MORNING! You could at least be QUIET about your alcoholism!" .... He doesnt answer! The jerk is ignoring me! So I grump at him a bit more and then realize he's totally sleep walking (or rather SLEEP DRINKING) in his sleep! I start cracking up and call to my mom. My mom and I are CRACKING up at him. His eyes are barely open and after he finally finishes pouring (took forever he kept repositioning the glass loudly) he just carried it off to bed, put it on the beside table, got into bed, and went back to sleep without drinking it.

We laughed about it pretty hard the next day.

 

[Chew593]

I just read all 5 pages and cracked up hard along the way. I have one of my own to share:
When I was a hell raising teenager my father traveled quite a bit and mom usually slept on the couch. My sister and I would always wait for mom to fall sleep before letting her know we were heading out. Awake she would have said "Heck no you aren't going out at 11 on a school night!" but when she was alseep we got answers like: "Ok, have fun, but make sure you take the dog to the car wash first." or "Gimme a kiss goodbye, and don't forget Pinnochio."

And another: Right after our wedding night my husband had a night terror. I had never experienced anything but the gushing compliance of my mother so when he was struggling in his sleep I didn't know what to do so I grabbed his shoulder and tried to say something like" Honey are you ok?" Not a wise move on my part. He thought he was being attacked by zombies or something so he cold cocked me. Hard. In the face. It was almost a deal breaker, but luckily it didn't leave too much of a mark. Since then it's happened a few times and I'll get out of bed and hollar at him from a distance to wake up! Or I'll whack him with my pillow.

 

[duckyfromoz]

oK...so its a long story..but I will cut it short...I was dreaming that I was trying to scare some foxes away from the front door of my shed...And woke both my daughter and myself up.......... When I started barking.. In my dream I was pretending to be a dog to scare the foxes off....

 

[OccamsTazer]

Teehee...I knew I'd come back to this thread and find it filled with hilarity.

 

[sekinkead]

I must say that both last night and today I have been laughing so hard I have tears running down my cheeks.

My husband is a mechanic and there have been times when I try to wake him up in the morning or if I disturb him once he is asleep that he has said some crazy things. I wish I could remember specifics because they used to crack me me up and he would eventually wake up to me giggling hysterically.

 

[jojo54]

Quote:
I did something similar. I was dreaming of who knows what but awoke just at the moment my fist connected to my ex's chin.

No, this is not why we divorced - at the time we still had 15+ good years ahead of us.

 

[OccamsTazer]

Ooh, I've got another one from way back.

My best friend is a notorious sleeptalker. We were staying at her family's place in upstate New York one summer, and as always, I was up late reading.

She sat straight up in bed and demanded,
"WHAT are you doing? People. Don't. Have. Dogs! Eh...that's ok, I like it."
And she immediately flopped back down and started snoring.

10 years later, I still give her crap about that one.

 

[Dingleberry]

funny stuff. I am enjoying these things~~~!!!

Quote:

 

[Bantimna]

My mom has said this about a week ago, "Chickens! Chickens! Grrrrr! It sounded like my mom turned into one. The it followed by Humans! Humans! Grrrrr!

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

The best one I can remember for me is about 6 months ago apprently it was close to morning and my husband Keith was already awake and watching me sleep. All of a sudden I said "Keith, STOP licking me!!" and I swatted him with the back of my hand and rolled over...

He says my Chihuahua Max had been licking my cheek... LMAO

I've also spat out gems like "The lava, the lava!", etc.