Advice? SIS and SSI

[PineappleMama]

Her kids' medicaid cars come here... she never picks them up they just pile... but that's MAILING address... and she has that with the PO, and clearly with this office. But, I can't stop her from having her mail sent here... and since it's the kids' insurance cards I really don't want to. If they didn't have insurance god knows what would happen if they were hurt or sick. She isn't going to fork over any cash to help them. So... yeah, don't want to put return to sender on those.

But I have no clue if she put this as her living address... I cannot access her forms with them... only form I could ever have seen would be one I signed saying she lives here... any rent... etc... and I never EVER filled one of those out. She never asked. So, I don't think she tried telling THEM that she lived here... just to send her mail here... but since I can't access her info (and can't trust her word) it's not like I know for sure.

It's a great big

is what it is. Maybe I should just go ahead and put return to sender... not like she ever picks the cards up anyways... and supposedly she's changed it... guess we'll see.

She doesn't get TANF (cash Temporary Assistance For Needy Families) but even if she did it goes directly to the LoneStar Card.

Likewise Food Stamps in Texas are directly credited to LoneStar Card.

No certificates, no checks. All direct deposit. Even WIC is linked to the LSCard now. She gets WIC for the baby, formula, eventually cereal... donno what else... up to age 5.

 

[redhen]

So what address does she use for her lone star and WIC stuff??
You have to have an address for all that....
I dont know...
I have to say.. your LETTING her use your address for certain things ,,but not others...
I think that your feeding her problem. Those kids are/were living with a druggie with an abusive BF..(plus much more that i cant even imagine..).. they needed to be taken away a LONG time ago...
By you letting her use your address for certain things..you've helped her keep those kids in that situation.
I UNDERSTAND the love you must have for your sister.. but... those innocent kids come first. They are NOT in a good place. Period.

I'm sorry..i TRULY do love your posts and agree with almost EVERYTHING that you say on here..
But your making some excuses right now... just being honest with you.

 

[PineappleMama]

The term Welfare Check just doesn't exist here... they went electronic years ago.

Her MAIL comes here... from diaper ads to medicaid cards... because she filled out a change of address form with USPS.
This is also what Mom and Uncle did. All told me about it after it was done.
I cannot fill out a form about anyone's mail but my own.
All I can do to "stop" their mail coming here is write "Return To Sender" on it and hope that whoever is sending will stop.

I won't do that to Mom because she's using my address, rather than hers, because she's selling that house thanks to divorce, and her Ex still has (and refuses to return n'mind judge order) a key to the mailbox. She doesn't trust him not to diddle with her mail. And honestly, knowing him, neither do I. She's in the process of getting a loan so she can get the heck out of there, but it's taking time. Once that's done she'll put in Change of Address to her new home. I have NO problem offering a safe mailbox for this purpose. Though it was annoying to be TOLD, rather than asked, I can live with this. Mom told the bank to use this address. She doesn't get regular mail here. Most of her bills are online, no paper anyways, this is the only matter that needs securing that is actually mailed. Her junk mail is addressed to a particular address, NOT a particular person so all that still goes to her house. Just the important stuff comes here.

Uncle, he's rotating between Mom's house and a shelter... neither place is dependable, neither is more than temporary. He also applied for SS Disability, but it's based on his breathing, COPD/Emphysema makes it pretty hard to do the A/C (in attics in Texas heat) work he's been doing most his adult life. He's worked full time since he was a teen, I have no problem with him collecting the SS he paid in. Also, he is NOT trying to use Mom's or Our address with them. He's not claiming he's paying rent to anyone, nothing. He's being 100% straight with them. So I don't mind if he says to use ours as his MAILING address. The SS Office is the only one that will be sending anything here, we aren't getting all his junk mail. Again, wish he'd asked instead of told, but I don't mind as we're not on the line. I'm not sure if he did the form with the PO, I think he said he did, but I don't know. He's only gotten one whole piece of mail here in weeks/months so I just don't know.

But Sis... different story. She DID fill out a Change of Address with the PO, this I know. This doesn't require verification from me in any way. ALL her mail comes here... magazines (freebies with child birth), coupons for formula, up to Medicaid cards (which are really just a paper printout that's sent once a month. Not an actual 'card')... all these things come here because the PO has her listed as living here. Never asked, and neither does the PO. They just assume you wouldn't send your mail anywhere you don't actually have legal access to. I do not know if it's just MAILING that she listed on her Medicaid/FStamps. I do not know if she also listed our home as her Physical Address (where you actually live, you see the "check this box if mailing is the same" and you don't have to write everything twice) I never saw the forms for that, never asked for verification, nothing. I have no clue. And no caseworker is going to pull up her info and tell me anything. Not even verify that NO she doesn't list our address. NO INFO, period. So, only thing I can do is put Return To Sender on the Medicaid Cards.... and hope that eventually they'll catch up. Hasn't worked for the other three people (landlord, his mom who used to live here, and some other random person) who still get mail here... but one can try. BUT, if I did that all it would do is make it where Ash can't/won't take the kids to the doctor if they need to go. Or that she'll have to go to the HHS office and get another copy if she needs to take them in. Won't stop her Medicaid, or anything else. Since my verification was never asked, she was approved anyways, me saying anything now won't mean squat. Assuming I could even get a worker to violate privacy rules and even speak to me about it.

SS wise... Now that I've no clue. Ash claims that they told her she MUST list our address since that's the address that Medicaid has. I don't know why they would tell her to purposely LIE on a form, but supposedly they did. Seems to me they'd want accurate info, not a hodgepodge of horse... pookey. And since the worker that called me seemed (just my feeling here) to be trying to get me to verify even AFTER I told her it was a lie... well I can't help but wonder if Ash is telling the truth about their.... methods.

But, even if she did find a worker who's willing to "work with her" I'm not going to set myself up. Look at it this way... if IRS/FAFSA find out about added income (I think it was 250/mo she was claiming? So that's 3k per YEAR) we can be audited for lying on our taxes, put in another bracket (not poor to rich, but a different bracket still) and could be denied Pell/other grant/scholarships for DH's school... only way to avoid THAT fate is to fess up to purposely LYING to a government agency... oh yeah, MUCH better. Way I see it this is a No Win situation for US, and an ALL win situation for her. So, yeah not happening.

But, still don't know what the devil I can do to stop her using my address as her Mailing.

Anyone a mailman? Or married to one? Brother is one?

 

[twentynine]

Noval idea on the mailing address.

Change you and your husband's address to a PO box in town, temporarily.

Pull up and remove your rural delivery mailbox at your home.

All mail going to that mailbox will be returned to sender as undeliverable, with no action from you.

It will be an inconvience for the period of time it takes the hangers on to realise you ain't gettin their mail any more.

Gotta ask and I know it's gonna put me in hot water, with a bunch of people, but: Is their any one in your family who doesn't recieve goverment assitance in one form or another?

All those letters, Y-O-U, W-I-C, F-I-F-S-A, F-S,

 

[Ema]

I live in a different country but I went through this with one of my SIL and her hubby with 2 kids. LEts just start by saying, the kids are defnitely living in a situation they shouldn't be. Your sister is not acting like a responsible adult and is taking the easy way out. The I cannot hold a job is just an excuse for not trying hard enough. It doesn't sound like anyone really made her face her issues. In any event the first priority should be the children no matter what. Even the first time she claimed her better half, what ever he may be to her and the kids, was abusive towards her, a call to CPS should have been placed. When you have children to care for, you need to leave all other issues aside and think of what is best for those little ones, whether it be her or you or another family member. Fight or no fight what you should be doing is sitting her down and asking her is What in the Heck are you doing?? three children, no stable home, going from place to place, relying on the system to feed, clothe and provide funding for your family. I will tell you this leads to nothing good but harder times, and in the end the ones in trouble are the kids. Going from place to place will land that sweet little 7 year old in a heap of trouble, trust me I have been there and have experienced what it is like to have a mother like your sister. because of my mothers actions I was sexually abused from the age of 6 to the age of 12 by the guys she kept landing with, promising her a stable home and warm beds with plenty of food and no worries about having to work or being money in on her own. These guys know how to look for easy targets like these, the women that have nowhere to go and need a place to keep their kids safe at night and the worst part is that it is not safe at all. You want to do somethign about it, tell her to smarten up or you will start with the phone calls. tell her as an adult with children she has bigger responsibilities than her own selfish needs. If she throws a temper tantrum oh very well, call CPS make the other phone calls. Have a family member step in and take those kids in until your sister seeks councelling for what ever OBVIOUS thing she needs to deal with. No normal adult does this, she is no doubt dealing with something she can't or doesn't know how to cope with.

My mother had an alcohol and drug issue, which stemmed from being badly physically abused by her mother growing up, she never dealt with it and after getting married and having kids things got bad. In any event your sister will never learn to deal with this unless she has help. and she is screaming for help from the inside. Its hard to step in into some one else's life but keep in mind you won't be doing it for her or yourself but for those kids future. In the end she may not talk to you for a long time, but eventually she will thank you.

It may be hard to see now, but trust me don't wait till its too late. you are focusing on the things she is doing the fraud, but no one is focusing on the bigger picture!!!! things WILL get worse before they get better, and if you end up stepping in to care for her kids for a little while I am sure there is a goverment program to help alleviate the bills, food, care costs, school etc....

 

[greeneggsandham]

PineappleMama I have to tell you what comes around goes around. Your sister will be sorry one day.

I know someone who for 7 years in the state of Rhode Island committed welfare, foodstamps, medical assistance, workers comp, unemployment, and SSI fraud with the help of her mother. Well some where she screwed up and the state found out. Now she has no choice but to get up every day and go to work. Its not like she wasn't capable of working she just thought she was above having to.
She now has pay back over $50,000 worth of support she received. The money is taken directly from her pay check and if she misses a payment she has to spend 30 days in jail. Oh and she is no longer allowed to receive any type of assistance.

 

[WingingIt]

Your local post office can stop her mail from being delivered to your house. All you have to do is contact them and let them know that you are repeatedly getting mail for someone who does NOT live at your home but must be giving out your address. They can and will stop delivering it to you and will mark it return to sender themselves at the PO. I had to do that at our last house. The son of the homeowner used that address for bills from the looks of what mail we were getting. He was a 45+ year old man who hadn't lived at that home in probably 20-25 years, but I guess if they came looking for him there for not paying, his Mommy could tell them he didn't live there. She turned in a mail forward thing for her mail but noone did for his. So we were getting all of the envelopes with the red stripes and marked Immediate Attention Required, etc. I marked them return to sender and sent them back at first but they'd just send more so I took some with me to the post office and they were super nice and said they'd stop it and they did.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
Ditto there. I have gotten my FIL and hubby's mom's mailings and sent it back to the PO personally and told them they do not live in this address and never did live with us. It all stemmed from the bankruptcy that I had to file before we got married and they were grabbing at every straw to collect. Eventually it did stop.

 

[sunflowerenvy]

wondering why sis dont use her address where she is stay?e yes go to the post office advised them that your sister dont live their and have her mail mark undeliverable . if her kids get sick she still go to the hospital for treatment. do not put up a head ache over this
good luck
laura

 

[EweSheep]

Our hospitals now have our insurance and Medicaid on records they just ask you for updates, thats all. Your sis will be ok.