Oh yeah, I definitely remember feeling like that, too. And that's what made it so hard to get out of it! I wasn't convinced that I really wanted to be happy again. It's really hard. God was gracious to me, and I was occasionally able to feel a little happy for some things. I mean, it still felt like I was looking through a shroud at said happiness, but it was something I could cling to and remember that it does exist and I wanted that glimmer of happiness. That's the twisted thing about depression is that it convinces you that you are fine living like this. It really is a battle.
I don't know what your opinion is on God, but if you haven't tried praying, it wouldn't hurt to. If you're already on what feels like rock bottom, there's really nothing to lose, even if you don't like the idea of religion.
That's what helped me. I knew that God wouldn't leave me feeling like that forever. He kept me safe and used that unfortunate time to help me to grow and learn - and now I can speak from experience about these things and relate to others who are in the same position as I was.
Thank you.
I know it will.
