Chuck Norris Jokes for Chicken Lovers

[TallChickMagnet]

Of course I have no idea where it is, but I saw a funny pic, A car had a huge dent in the door, and written on the side of the car was "Chuck Norris spit here"

 

[TallChickMagnet]

 

[TechnoCat]

The fear of spiders is called aracnaphobia, the fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, the fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.

Some magicians walk on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

 

[OwlLover]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

 

[TechnoCat]

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When you ask Siri about Chuck Norris, the iPhone crashes.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't make a splash when he's jumping into the water - the water is just getting out of his way.

 

[OwlLover]

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris. The cop was lucky to get away with a warning.

 

[TechnoCat]

Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible, but got replaced by Tom Cruise because if Chuck Norris was the lead the title wouldn't make any sense.

 

[RulerOfTheSkies]

The fear of spiders is called aracnaphobia, the fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, the fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.

Some magicians walk on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris. The cop was lucky to get away with a warning.

Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible, but got replaced by Tom Cruise because if Chuck Norris was the lead the title wouldn't make any sense.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When you ask Siri about Chuck Norris, the iPhone crashes.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't make a splash when he's jumping into the water - the water is just getting out of his way.

LOL i haven`t heard pretty much all of those, and love the nazi one ariscom!
P.S singingchickenmomma, love the dead bird siggy!

 

[TechnoCat]

Thank you! And psst, mah name is not singingchickenmomma. It's TechnoCat.

 

[ChickenRadio]

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. [/FONT]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack... even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.
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Note: all of these are from different websites