Do you have a really large family?

[Katy]

Quote:
As a homeschooler, you know where I stand on this, lol. However, I have to say that I have met around 150 different homeschooling families from my area (within 15 miles) and perhaps 2 of those families fit the profile of "homeschooling to protect" in the way you mean. I do homeschool to protect my children from many of the bad influences they would face in public school, but it in no way means they don't know those influences exist (not the only reason I homeschool). I think homeschool families who keep their children in the dark about the realities of life are much fewer and further between than most people think. Sounds to me that the reason this family chose to homeschool is not to protect, but to control. Big difference.

If we lived in a large city I might be more inclined to have wanted to seperate my kids from some of the things that go on. We live in a small farming community and not to say stuff doesn't go on that shouldn't, but not to the degree that it does in a large city. Here if someone sees your kid doing something they shouldn't they know who it is and more than likely the parent is going to get a call about it.

I've got a question for you tho....don't you think it's better for a kid to learn how to handle those bad influences when they're young rather than later when all of a sudden they're out in the real world and are personally exposed to them?

 

[Chirpy]

Wow, I'm so sorry for your brothers kids. I totally agree that this isn't even about Home Schooling.. it's about being in control. By Home Schooling his kids, he had total control over them. It sounds like your brother has some serious issues. He needs help. He's hurting his children. It wouldn't matter if he only had one child, it just seems like he 'needed' more people to control and thus the large family.

We have eight children and Home School. We Home School to give our children a better education than the public schools give around here and because, as Christians, (like BettyR said) we wanted to teach our children morals and integrity, amongst other things, that are rarely taught in public schools.

Our children are required to do chores around the house, get a job (when they are old enough, which means they need to be able to drive to get themselves there) and go to college. They are involved in lots of outside activities; we especially encourage them to help others through volunteer work.

Our oldest son has just started his freshman year at college. He was accepted to one of the top schools in the country for Aerospace Engineering. They had around 23,000 students apply to be freshmen this year and only accepted 5800 of those to the entire school. Of those, they only accepted 113 to the Aerospace department (yes, I'm blowing my son's horn here.. we are very proud of him and how hard he worked to get there.) and he's one of them!!

All of that to say that parents are truly in charge of how their children are raised and how they are prepared (or not prepared) for the 'real' world. That applies no matter where a child is being schooled.

 

[Beekissed]

Mental and verbal abuse, for some reason, isn't seen as serious a problem as it should be.

I agree, Deb 1! Especially by the people doing it and the people who enable them to do it. My mother's pat answer to all the hell she and her children went through (and are still going through) is, "Well, its too late to do anything about that now!" So casually thrown out there, like, "Oh, well!" The only good thing that comes from that type of upbringing is that some of the kids do better than the last generation.

That's all we can really ever do....just try to improve on the last generation. Not necessarily by "giving my kids what I never had" in the monetary sense, but in the emotional sense. My kids are well loved and admired and they KNOW it! That is my most valuable legacy to them...the fact that I admire them as the people God made them to be. I've done my best to help turn them into decent people, then I let go and watched them become that very thing.

My folks, on the other hand, sowed a field of hatred and spite, and are now reaping it. My mother seems baffled that her children all despise her (except me, of course) and despise each other. I finally had to tell her the reason and she gave that well rehearsed line...too late, blah, blah, blah!

Its never too late to make amends, say your sorry, stop perpetuating a cycle, break away from old patterns and become a more selfless individual!​

 

[PotterWatch]

Quote:
As a homeschooler, you know where I stand on this, lol. However, I have to say that I have met around 150 different homeschooling families from my area (within 15 miles) and perhaps 2 of those families fit the profile of "homeschooling to protect" in the way you mean. I do homeschool to protect my children from many of the bad influences they would face in public school, but it in no way means they don't know those influences exist (not the only reason I homeschool). I think homeschool families who keep their children in the dark about the realities of life are much fewer and further between than most people think. Sounds to me that the reason this family chose to homeschool is not to protect, but to control. Big difference.

If we lived in a large city I might be more inclined to have wanted to seperate my kids from some of the things that go on. We live in a small farming community and not to say stuff doesn't go on that shouldn't, but not to the degree that it does in a large city. Here if someone sees your kid doing something they shouldn't they know who it is and more than likely the parent is going to get a call about it.

I've got a question for you tho....don't you think it's better for a kid to learn how to handle those bad influences when they're young rather than later when all of a sudden they're out in the real world and are personally exposed to them?

I think the issue I have is how young they are when the learn how to deal with those influences. I don't think that my 6 year old learning about sex from another kid in his class who learned it from his 15yo brother is ok. I don't think that my 5yo having to deal with bullies in his class and an apathetic teacher is ok. I think that too often in public or private school, children are expected to deal with adult issues very early in life. My kids do know about the bad influences because we talk about them, we see them in movies and read about them in books. I just like that when my kids see or experience negative influences they know they can turn to my husband or myself immdiately for guidance if they feel they need it. They don't always turn to us, they are learning to stand on their own (keep in mind they are only 6 and 8), but they always have an adult there to help out when needed (something my oldest son did not get in school). I think that my kids learning from 20 kids of differing ages how to work together and solve a problem is infinitely better than them working with 20 kids their same exact age. This isn't to say that traditional schooling doesn't have benefits that homeschooling lacks. I think that both methods offer different opportunities and challenges.

 

[Chicabee19]

n/a

 

[Beekissed]

Children who are being abused usually do all they can to get out of the home as soon as they reach majority age. They would pretty much have to be choosing to remain at home at the age of 25. The kind of abuse that could control someone of that age would be pretty obvious to an outsider, right?

Nope. Often a victim of emotional and verbal abuse are so programmed that the normal emergency escape routes that would be chosen by a normal person, just simply do not occur to them. They must first realize there is something wrong. Most of them have not been allowed to formulate the thought that what they have been subject to is out of the ordinary. This is why female children of an abusive father often run right into the arms of an abusive husband and perpetuate the cycle. What is normal for them is not normal for the rest of the world. Thus the degree of control to keep them from being exposed to more normal social interaction.

If you've never been exposed to this level of abuse since birth, you have no way of knowing just how extreme it can be. You cannot judge these children by what is "normal"! Normal is a setting on the dryer to them and has no real meaning, as it does to other people. Do you not see how many women get their heads beat off on a daily basis and run right back into that hell? If they were normal they would run from the pain. We all would. They are thinking with a whole different mindset than are we!​

 

[HSmamma]

I think we need to be very careful of how we define abuse especially in this case. It may simply be a case of lack of knowledge. Parents do the best they can when raising their kids but there is no instruction manual. Whether instituting morals, or deciding to homeschool we set specific goals for our families. Despite those goals, kids will do their own thing.

There are many ways to homeschool. We have friends that unschool-they don't use curriculum books but use everything around them to learn. A few of them are also doing college at home-online. Not because they don't want to leave home but because it's affordable and they can complete more classes in half the time. Mind you many of them are doing these classes while still in highschool and yes, it is a now widely accepted choice. Many colleges are now able to place their core requirements online. Heck-I'm doing that for my masters degree.

And while we are not Christian nor do we homeschool for religious reasons, there is a certain safety in homeschooling. We are not exposed to the guns, violence and bullying that is prevalent in our PS system. That is not to say that my children are not exposed to these things. But it is done in a way where parental involvement is key.

It is important to remember that learning comes in all shapes and forms. Talking to the brother and children about how he homeschooled and why he wants his family close may reveal more than considering him controlling and abusing. He might be but he might not.

Visit my blog to read more on why we and how we homeschool. There are lots of pictures of our chickens here too.
www.homeschoolgardener.blogspot.com

hsmamma

 

[gaited horse]

i am a teen but i am a teen in a large famly and im homeschooled

 

[Beekissed]

Some of you have got to be thinking the same thing I am, but I'll not be the first to say it!

 

[Katy]

Yes, I'm probably thinking the same thing, but I'm not going to say it either!!