Granny's gone and done it again

[Granny Hatchet]

Hi guys.

@Granny Hatchet, so sorry to hear about Tom. Girl. NO GUILT. You have gone above and beyond. I had to make the decision to put my dad in the nursing home where I was working. It was hard but it was best for both of us. I loved (and always will) him dearly. He was my daddy. But he wasn't safe at home alone anymore while I worked and the stress was eating away at me between work and worrying about him setting the house on fire.

I felt guilty till one of the aides who was taking care of him asked his nurse...how did Becky take care of him for three years and work here too? She told him, because she didn't have a choice and had to. Looking back now I can see that it was slowly killing me. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. You did what was best for him first and for you and your son second so please don't beat yourself up. God bless you.

Thank you. Everyone there seems very nice. Plans are to bring him home after rehab. He is not the same person I took in there. The dementia has gotten way worse IF that's what it is. I suspect meds are also at play here. They are keeping him calm. They said something about his insurance only covering 100 days so I don't know what's up with that.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I just told my GC, Do not ever promise to NOT put me in a nursing home. If the time comes that I need care that my loved ones cannot provide for me at home, by all means please feel free to do that! Don't let me be a burden to those at home, let the professionals take care of me. I'm sure I'll be fine having someone wait on me, cook for me, give me my meds as needed, do my laundry ... in short, do for me all the things I've been doing for everybody else all my life. Like @microchick said, no guilt!

 

[microchick]

Thank you. Everyone there seems very nice. Plans are to bring him home after rehab. He is not the same person I took in there. The dementia has gotten way worse IF that's what it is. I suspect meds are also at play here. They are keeping him calm. They said something about his insurance only covering 100 days so I don't know what's up with that.

That's standard. Medicare covers...or used to cover.....30 or 60 days, can't remember anymore, sorry. After that the pay switches over to private pay (you flip the bill) or your state public assistance combined with Medicare. Used to be that all of the person's Medicare went to the facility except 40 or 50 dollars which went to the residents private needs. The facility will keep the money in a resident's bank where they can withdraw it for snacks or things they need or want. Talk to the facilities social services department. They will be able to answer any questions that you might have and that is what they are there for.

Yes, I imagine that they are probably giving him a low dose of Ativan to help keep him calmer. Anxiety is common in dementias and many dementia patients like standard Alzheimer's patients have worse anxiety at nights making them restless and prone to wander around. Low doses help them to relax and be calmer.

Try not to worry. He is in good hands and they know how to take care of residents who have problems like Tom has.

I finally got to catch up a bit, not all the way. You have been coping with a lot and have had a lot on your shoulders lately. Take this chance to rest and get on your feet yourself. When they send him home again, (and yes, I pray that that they reach that goal for him) you will want to have social services check into how you can get help with him at home. Dementia sucks. I'm sorry, if that is what you are dealing with, it never gets better, dear lady. Home health care, visiting nurses (can't praise them enough), and more help with housekeeping so you aren't having to deal with so much. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.

Alzheimer's disease is described as being a steady downhill slope with the patient experiencing different stages as they progress down that hill. Dementia is described as having plateaus over periods of time with drop offs followed by plateaus where symptoms level off, and repeats. Both diseases are horrible and my heart breaks for you, your son and Tom.

Read about the ankle alarms. Yep, we used them where I used to work. Also body alarms where the alarm was fastened to the back of the resident's wheelchair and it's connected to their clothing with a string and safety pin. If the person tries to rise from the chair, the string pulls a key out of the alarm and it sets up a racket to wake the dead. If (and I sure hope he has) been deemed a fall risk, they are keeping a close eye on him. No facility wants the powers that be (usually the state health dept) to come down on them like a duck on a June bug for allowing frequent falls in their residents. Plus they are also evaluating him for physical therapy and are working with him daily on strengthening him and helping him walk safely and transfer from chairs to toilet and the like.

Don't worry. He is where he needs to be at this moment in time. Take each day as it comes. You will get through this and so will Tom. Just please take this time to take care of Granny. You are loved!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I just told my GC, Do not ever promise to NOT put me in a nursing home. If the time comes that I need care that my loved ones cannot provide for me at home, by all means please feel free to do that! Don't let me be a burden to those at home, let the professionals take care of me. I'm sure I'll be fine having someone wait on me, cook for me, give me my meds as needed, do my laundry ... in short, do for me all the things I've been doing for everybody else all my life. Like @microchick said, no guilt!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Hi

 

[BigBlueHen53]

@microchick, you are the voice of common sense and reason. We miss you when you're not here, dear lady!

 

[microchick]

I just told my GC, Do not ever promise to NOT put me in a nursing home. If the time comes that I need care that my loved ones cannot provide for me at home, by all means please feel free to do that! Don't let me be a burden to those at home, let the professionals take care of me. I'm sure I'll be fine having someone wait on me, cook for me, give me my meds as needed, do my laundry ... in short, do for me all the things I've been doing for everybody else all my life. Like @microchick said, no guilt!

Had to smile, Blue, a nurse I used to work with and I told our aides one night when they were driving us nuts that when we were both going to check in as residents if that time came, get a room together, be on the call lights every 5 minutes and do everything in our power to make their lives as miserable as they were making ours.

One of them just looked at us with huge eyes and said, 'we're screwed'.

But they stopped irritating us after that so I guess they got the message.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

15 minutes till sundown, wow! How did that sneak up on me! Good night, y'all. Love ya!

 

[Granny Hatchet]

After that the pay switches over to private pay (you flip the bill)

I don't understand this. His room is $400. a day! How in the world am I supposed to pay that? What will they do with the ones that cant pay?

 

[Granny Hatchet]

15 minutes till sundown, wow! How did that sneak up on me! Good night, y'all. Love ya!

Gnight Blue I hope your pup is doing good. I forgot to ask