horror_trashcan
Chirping
Howdy! I just wanted to start my own random thread that I could simply update and throw my thoughts into without worrying about having tons of random posts about different things, with that being said, welcome to my Horror Show! I will end up posting my art, chickens and I guess any other projects I'm working on here.
I'll probably end up venting here as well as I have no where or person to output to so I apologize for subjecting you to that.
Introduction, I am Grei but everyone calls me Jamie, I was christian homeschooled most my life and lived in a travel trailer traveling the US due to my parents financial situation. I am 23 now living on my in laws land trying my best to keep things together and have my own flock.
I used to do digital art I do more sketching and painting now, I make masks and models of gore in paper mache. It would be my dream to do visual effects in movies but that is just a dream. I'm autistic and struggle to function in my daily life, I love to solve problems but I often get overwhelmed (Like trying to write all this right now!). That's me I guess, thanks for reading!
GHS1
With it being winter not much is going on outside currently, I have been working on my coop and refortifying it although with the weather and my health I haven't been able to do a whole lot. I am hoping to have it all finished by the end of the month as to get my chickens into their coop, safe this time. I would like to breed my frizzle rooster with the rest of my EE flock, to sell eggs and chicks and to be able to feed my family. The town I live in has little to no job opportunity so I am doing my best to take care of everything with no income. I am trying my best to make sure everything is safe for the chickens, I'm considering sleeping out there with them although I know that's insane I CANNOT afford to lose these ones too.
-vent part, feel free to ignore!-
When we had moved down here we had many plans, and the information we were fed had put said plans on a pedestal, it was the perfect idea and there was very few downsides. Unfortunately we were lied to and things were not nearly as set up as we were told, and at that point we had spent every dime to get down here thinking we had a place to live. If any of you are autistic you understand how troubling this would be for an autist. My plans fell through, I now live under someone else house and simply panicking every day as I cannot self regulate in these conditions. I won't get into living conditions but I know my health is already bad enough that I cannot live here for much longer. Either my brain will collapse or my body will first, I'm trying my hardest to make it my body. I am not asking for help but I just need someone to know, we can't afford heating, we live off two peoples food stamps which isn't enough for 4 people and many animals, and the land I live on hasn't been paid for in 10+ years. I moved here thinking it was taken care of but I moved into a mess. I spent hours, days cleaning up the trash that was left and barely made a dent. We're struggling every day and I am only one person. I am blessed that the mess included a barn of wood but I am simply too exhausted to fix this land. I don't want to live here anymore, I want to move, I want too much.
I am slowly losing myself living like this, maybe this is why I felt the need to make this post, I cry for help in the most silent way possible but I know there is no help to be had, it is a struggle I myself must push through, a part of my life I will have to look back at and shrug, because there is truly nothing else for me to do here beside wait. I am sorry and I am tired.
I'll probably end up venting here as well as I have no where or person to output to so I apologize for subjecting you to that.
Introduction, I am Grei but everyone calls me Jamie, I was christian homeschooled most my life and lived in a travel trailer traveling the US due to my parents financial situation. I am 23 now living on my in laws land trying my best to keep things together and have my own flock.
I used to do digital art I do more sketching and painting now, I make masks and models of gore in paper mache. It would be my dream to do visual effects in movies but that is just a dream. I'm autistic and struggle to function in my daily life, I love to solve problems but I often get overwhelmed (Like trying to write all this right now!). That's me I guess, thanks for reading!
GHS1
With it being winter not much is going on outside currently, I have been working on my coop and refortifying it although with the weather and my health I haven't been able to do a whole lot. I am hoping to have it all finished by the end of the month as to get my chickens into their coop, safe this time. I would like to breed my frizzle rooster with the rest of my EE flock, to sell eggs and chicks and to be able to feed my family. The town I live in has little to no job opportunity so I am doing my best to take care of everything with no income. I am trying my best to make sure everything is safe for the chickens, I'm considering sleeping out there with them although I know that's insane I CANNOT afford to lose these ones too.
-vent part, feel free to ignore!-
When we had moved down here we had many plans, and the information we were fed had put said plans on a pedestal, it was the perfect idea and there was very few downsides. Unfortunately we were lied to and things were not nearly as set up as we were told, and at that point we had spent every dime to get down here thinking we had a place to live. If any of you are autistic you understand how troubling this would be for an autist. My plans fell through, I now live under someone else house and simply panicking every day as I cannot self regulate in these conditions. I won't get into living conditions but I know my health is already bad enough that I cannot live here for much longer. Either my brain will collapse or my body will first, I'm trying my hardest to make it my body. I am not asking for help but I just need someone to know, we can't afford heating, we live off two peoples food stamps which isn't enough for 4 people and many animals, and the land I live on hasn't been paid for in 10+ years. I moved here thinking it was taken care of but I moved into a mess. I spent hours, days cleaning up the trash that was left and barely made a dent. We're struggling every day and I am only one person. I am blessed that the mess included a barn of wood but I am simply too exhausted to fix this land. I don't want to live here anymore, I want to move, I want too much.
I am slowly losing myself living like this, maybe this is why I felt the need to make this post, I cry for help in the most silent way possible but I know there is no help to be had, it is a struggle I myself must push through, a part of my life I will have to look back at and shrug, because there is truly nothing else for me to do here beside wait. I am sorry and I am tired.
