I think I killed my favorite chicken

[heddolls]

I came home from the park 2 hours after spending time with my chickens giving them all watermelon. They were all lively and dirt bathing.

2 hours later I found my favorite hen gasping for air in our coup. It was a bit dark but my daughter and son came out to help with their cell phones. I should have brought her into a well lite room to assess how bad she was, but as my daughter said she was turning purple and had not breathed I put her upside down and started to put my finger down her throat to check for obstructions. After about 3 minutes of trying to help her she clasped and died. It seemed like I made her have a heart attack doing what I did.

I later looked up that everything I did was incredibly wrong. I should not have jumped to what I thought would work to save her just to kill her.

I am sick about this and can not stop researching and finding out how stupid I am. How does anyone get past this?

 

[GreenJay]

very sorry about your hen!
Keep her good memories in your heart, RIP little hen!

 

[SueT]

There's a good chance she was already dying when you tried to save her. Don't blame yourself, you tried to help. And you cared.
It is hard to lose animals, sometimes just as hard as losing people.
I just read a book called Talking with the Animals, by Patty Summers, who is a psychic and understands what they say. Often those that died explained that it was their time to go, and they had served their purpose. Let go of your guilt, you did what you thought was right.

 

[LaFleche]

Don't be so hard on yourself!
You tried the best you could in this stressful situation and we all make mistakes and learn from it.

As @SueT already mentioned, she might have already been in the process of dying, which by your description of her symptoms is a high possibility.

Even veterinarians often have a very hard time to determine what the cause of a chicken's decline or death really is/was.

So please, don't beat yourself up about it. It is hard enough to lose your favourite hen.

 

[LaFleche]

And welcome to the BYC community!

 

[Fluster Cluck Acres]

I am sick about this and can not stop researching and finding out how stupid I am. How does anyone get past this?

You did what you thought was right at the time. That's the best that any of us can expect to do. And what you've learned from this unfortunate experience will help you to continue being the best chicken parent you can be to your other birds.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[AinaWGSD]

I am so sorry you lost your hen It is not your fault. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time, and it's unfair for anyone, including yourself, to ask for more than that.

Chickens are prey animals, they are extremely good at hiding signs of illness. It's possible she had a condition you didn't notice until it was too late that caused her death. And if her death was related to heart disease it's possible that there were no outward symptoms for you to notice. One of the most common symptoms of heart disease in animals is sudden death.

It is possible that your actions caused her stress, but it sounds like she was already in distress when you found her. I don't think you caused your hen's death, you acted in her best interest with the knowledge available to you at the time. I know it's hard, but try to give yourself some grace and remember that you did the best you could because you cared.