Things you wish you could say

[FrostRanger]

I don't work here
I am wearing an orange safety vest (not to mention my t-shirt under my vest is for a completely different company and looks nothing like the shirts the employees here wear), a yellow bike helmet, and a fanny pack and am pushing a cart with a bag of frozen broccoli while sipping on a can of orange cream ghost, why would you even think I work here or am even on the clock?

Sad thing is this isn't the first time it happened, once I was at Lowes and had 2 people back to back ask me if I worked there. Not only was I wearing my helmet, vest and fanny pack but I was in shorts. Last I checked Lowes employees don't dress like that

 

[notabitail]

Sigh.

Look. All you do is whine and complain about your problems.

And then we offer to help you. We give you advice on what to do.

But no. You keep on whining and complaining, and never even try the advice. All you do is whine and complain.

Just shut up already. I'm tired of hearing you.

 

[Pampered chicken girl]

The puddles are gone

 

[tlcmurphy]

I don't work here
I am wearing an orange safety vest (not to mention my t-shirt under my vest is for a completely different company and looks nothing like the shirts the employees here wear), a yellow bike helmet, and a fanny pack and am pushing a cart with a bag of frozen broccoli while sipping on a can of orange cream ghost, why would you even think I work here or am even on the clock?

Sad thing is this isn't the first time it happened, once I was at Lowes and had 2 people back to back ask me if I worked there. Not only was I wearing my helmet, vest and fanny pack but I was in shorts. Last I checked Lowes employees don't dress like that

I can top that. Many years ago I was waiting to be picked up in front of a doctor’s office wearing khakis and a light blue shirt. Admittedly I was standing near the valet kiosk, and dressed similarly (no valet was there at the moment), but some guy pulled his car up and handed me the keys! I had to chase him down inside, it was a nice car too…

 

[NorthwoodsChick]

You are right. It could be a bit catchier. But it is free, so it is for me! Sorry. Had to do a rhyme there. I could not resist it.

Free is for Mee 2

 

[The Moonshiner]

I can top that. Many years ago I was waiting to be picked up in front of a doctor’s office wearing khakis and a light blue shirt. Admittedly I was standing near the valet kiosk, and dressed similarly (no valet was there at the moment), but some guy pulled his car up and handed me the keys! I had to chase him down inside, it was a nice car too…

 

[NorthwoodsChick]

My TMI rant to Dad:
I remind you of my open ended offer to visit (or live) with me to help in your 3 year long grief. Hubs built an apartment in our home for you after you said you would come to live. It’s been 2 years and still you are not here. This year you told me you’d come on XYZ days this month and that month year then you cancelled the day before—after I told the grandkids, stocked food and drink, personalized the guest room for you so you feel most welcome, and took time off work.
This month I have no more vacation days so I tried to get you to come on a Friday or Saturday, but noooo- you insisted on driving on a Sunday- 8 hours. Ok. One kid goes back to college on Sundays. Sunday morning I get a call “probably leaving Monday morning. I got some stuff to do (sleepy voice)”.
Oh, really!!??!! After I again drove 45 min one way to the only decent store this morning to get the things you asked for, you pull this sh! at 10AM??? College kid came home this weekend knowing you’d be there Sunday??? Kid said he’s used to it! Choke on that grandpa!!
Text received at 5 pm: I’ll prob leave after the Lion’s game. Me: Uhhh- that puts you here around 2-3 AM- I don’t think so! Your @SS better be stopping at the bridge cuz me and hubs work for a living, and I ain’t opening the door at no damn 2 AM because you can’t crawl out of your 3 year apathetic state and decide to tie one on the night before you are supposed to drive 8 hrs to visit your family for once. Show up at 2AM and find out how much I’ve been holding back.
(deep breath)- aahhhhhh ‍

 

[Jenbirdee]

YES! Ducks waddle, chickens wattle.

on that note -
it’s a bill not a beak!

 

[ChicNmom]

on that note -
it’s a bill not a beak!

LOL!!

I'm guilty on that. Please forgive me!

I was in a hurry recently and used the wrong B word in a response.
And I knew it wasn't right but was in too much of a hurry to correct it!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Duck, bill.
Chicken, beak. Got it.
And, uh.... all birds are hatched, not born.