Why in the world am I so bad at flirting? (Tomboy thread!)

[deb1]

Chickendoodle, why don't you ask the guy out for coffee yourself? Coffee isn't really a date. Its just a place to talk about your shared class. You could get to know him a bit better then.

 

[Tala]

Flirting is more or less just a method of trying to get attention. Specifically "that special" attention from a certain person.

It's also a skill that can be learned and practiced until you are *too* good at it! lol

I used to couldn't flirt for my life. Didn't get my first boyfriend till I was 18. Now I flirt a little too much!!

 

[shelleyd2008]

Quote:
You sound like me, flirting is one thing I do too much of! I'll say or do something, then think about it later on, and wish I hadn't done it. I am not looking for someone, and probably never will be looking, so flirting is one thing I don't need to be doing! I didn't used to be that way, I guess as I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable with myself, which has also made me more comfortable period. If you are nervous, you will seem awkward, just be yourself

 

[Coopa Cabana]

Here's how bad it's gotten for me. In the good old days, when I'd meet a guy, checking the ring finger was the first thing I'd do. Now, after meeting someone, my friends will ask "Is he married?" My response: I don't know - didn't even think to check!

 

[teach1rusl]

Of all my siblings and cousins, I was the only girl. So I was quite a tom-boy. After high school, I joined the military, surrounded mostly by males again. I've always felt more comfortable around guys than women...still do. I've never felt comfortable with flirting, so I was just me. Lack or flirting skills didn't hold me back from dating and eventually having a family. Just be you...it'll all work out for you in the end...

 

[Tessaf]

Hey chickendoodle, don't sweat it. I was the biggest tomboy growing up. My mum used to tell me I walked like a wharfie LOL. Still can't walk in heels, lucky my husband (who I married when I was 38!) is same height as me so don't need them to reach him

The best advice always came from my dad " a man will chase a woman till she's ready to let him catch her." Basically what he was saying is that if a guy is keen he needs very little encouragement to chase you he just will. So just be yourself and if that's what he is into then he will let you know. Good luck.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Thanks guys. I was almost going to ask him for coffee today after developing my photos but I chickened out. I swear, I'll take on a bucking horse, a growling dog, or a charging bull....but love and relationships make my legs shake! LOL

I'll be 21 soon and most of my friends date. Even my brother has a girlfriend and my family makes such a big deal about it. I wouldn't want a boyfriend just to say I have one, but I definitely get lonely for company that isn't just "friendly" every now and then. I've actually never dated in my life, so all of it will be a new experience.

Funny about the touching hair remark. I actually do play with my hair alot when I'm around guys I like. So maybe I do flirt, but I just don't know it!

 

[wombat]

You mention getting hurt ... everyone fears rejection, but you aren't really going to get hurt all that badly getting turned down by someone you don't even have any time invested in.

You can't win if you don't play the game.

The biggest regrets over this that you will someday have will be the ones you wish you'd have at least tried to chase after and didn't.

... and I've always liked the tomboys. One of my old girlfriends made it to 3rd in her entire state in kickboxing. The woman I married asked me out on a camping and rock climbing trip.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I'm not really afraid of getting hurt. Of course I don't like being hurt, but I've been through enough to realize a broken heart is not the end of the world! I'm a firm believer that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and I think that's even more true when it comes to relationships!

My biggest fear is more likely that I'll come off as a weirdo. I don't want to be a creeper! LOL

 

[deb1]

Quote:
If you don't think of asking him out to coffee as a date then you won't get nervous. Just try to convince yourself that you are trying to set up a friendship only. Lots of people who aren't attracted to one another have coffee because they want a quiet place to talk. You already have a class in common.