Feeling Guilty...Needing Support

[lbgreenfield]

Hello everyone. I have not posted on BYC in a quite a few years, as my flock has been doing good overall. Even with the good, I've lost 6 of my pet chickens in the past year, all of which had to be euthanized. Some due to old age, others due to treatable-when-caught-early conditions I did not see/realize until it was too late. Even though I have seen my fair share of animal death, I still feel guilty, stressed, and ashamed/embarrassed that I had to voluntarily euthanize my pets, especially for the ones that I could have saved if I would have noticed something was "off" sooner. Does anyone else feel like this after they lose a pet (chicken, duck, dog, cat, any pet)? My friends/family all tell me what a wonderful critter-mom I am, but I still can't help but feel so bad about myself lately. I do all the things recommended to move through grief, and it just doesn't seem to help all that much. I was just feeling really down and thought it would be good to post here to see if others had any advice or words of encouragement.

I've posted a picture of my most recent loss - Kylo Hen. Top Hen of the flock, Chief Complainer, old (almost 7 years!), and fat from hogging all the treats.

 

[TwoCrows]

Don't be too hard on yourself, I too have put birds down that I tried to save and weren't thriving. Sure I could have let them be or worked harder, but I didn't. I think many of us have been in this position and did the same thing. The important thing is that you gave them the best life you could, all you knew to do for them, and they lived good lives before hand. Illnesses, old age and such are part of keeping chickens. Look back fondly on your chicken keeping, our lives are a journey to grow and enjoy as much as we can.

 

[sourland]

We are sometimes responsible for terminating the lives of our pets. It is one of the greatest and hardest responsibilities we take on when we care for animals. I have never felt guilty for ending the life of an animal when it becomes necessary. To keep them alive for me is the unfair thing. I think we should be allowed to make the same choice for ourselves.

 

[TwoCrows]

Oh and Kylo was gorgeous, ❤ all I see is love there!

 

[ElmienGrove]

Shame man, I feel your pain very much. I have terrible guilt every time I have to euthanize one of my pets. I currently have 2 cats starting to show signs of suffering and I tend to go the other way in trying to treat them but then they end up suffering more and then I feel guilty about that. I literally just lost a whole batch of duckling eggs (some quit right after pipping internally) except for one that hadn't quit which I tried to assist and made some mistakes and even though it seems okay now I have this awful pit in my stomach. I feel terrible for not assisting the others and I feel terrible about assisting this one. Now she is alone and might die in the night so I don't see a very restful sleep for me tonight. I also feel terribly guilty about my human kids even when nothing bad happens, haha. Some of us are just sensitive, I guess. I find antidepressants help, though. Any way, good luck and remember that this too shall pass.

 

[lbgreenfield]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I’ve just been a mess all day today. I know I’ve given them a good, happy life, but I’m still sad. I think I’m just getting more sensitive as I get older.

 

[TwoCrows]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I’ve just been a mess all day today. I know I’ve given them a good, happy life, but I’m still sad. I think I’m just getting more sensitive as I get older.

@lbgreenfield These birds have a way of nesting in out hearts, when they are gone they take a big chuck of it with them. I totally get your sadness.