Things you wish you could say

"I'd like to return this, it's defective."
Do you have your receipt?
"No."
Ok, do you have a phone number with us? We can look up the receipt.
"No."
.......Ok then, I'll need your driver's license, please.
"Why? I just want to return this without hassle."
Unfortunately, it's required for non-reciept returns, it's a security measure. (It's so we can keep track of people who pick stuff up and then try to return it for cash.)
"This is ridiculous....I just-"
Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we don't sell this item. This is a Home Depot exclusive brand, only they can offer a return on it. I'm sorry.
"I bought it here!"
I'm sorry, it's definitely not in our system, like I said, it's not a brand or item we carry.
"I don't want to go to home depot."
Neither do I but for a return, it needs to go there. Have a wonderful day.
Unfortunately, the manager at Staples apparently thought great customer service meant accepting anything and everything. It was more annoying to be overridden by him to accept things like a clearly-used car battery than it was to argue with the customers.
 
Unfortunately, the manager at Staples apparently thought great customer service meant accepting anything and everything. It was more annoying to be overridden by him to accept things like a clearly-used car battery than it was to argue with the customers.
Uh, I wasn't aware that an office supply store sold car batteries. I work at a hardware store and we don't even sell car batteries
 
Much better than the old women who pour on so much perfume that you can smell them and their trail everywhere they go.
It's a toss up between little old ladies who bathed in perfume, tweekers who are so high, they're glowing and now the store smells like Burning Skunk Lipstick by Avon and the ultimate contender:
Little ladies who smoke cigarettes and Maryjane, drown it out with perfume and also keep 200 goats, apparently inside.
 
Unfortunately, the manager at Staples apparently thought great customer service meant accepting anything and everything. It was more annoying to be overridden by him to accept things like a clearly-used car battery than it was to argue with the customers.
We had a manager like that for half a year. That's how know I have coworkers willing to hide a body.
 

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