Good Neighbor Skills 101...Failed!!

[Beekissed]

I am just glad you had the wisdom to do some self-analysis on the situation and step back and be objective. I can't imagine anyone could have handled it much better, we don't exactly get to plan what we would do in a situation like this one! I applaud your compassion in not causing a ruckus with this poor old lady. Instead of contacting adult services right away(as someone advised), it might be neighborly if you asked the fellow who knew her if she has any family. Maybe they don't know her judgement is a little askew and they could handle it better. If they DO know and choose to do nothing, THEN its the time to call adult protective services to help this lady. If your mother had some mental changes of which you were unaware(and it seems this lady has), you would appreciate a "heads up" before the government started poking their noses in it. You seem a nice person and I think you'll make a nice neighbor in "the country"! Good luck and I wish you were moving to my neck of the woods!

 

[tmk]

Quote:
Yes, I know that's one way of handling it. And I won't hesitate to use one on anyone who is going to harm my family.
A lady across the street from us (don't know the family well)came and said (she heard the whole thing...

) I was a bad mom for not knocking the lady out right then. She also told me that she will sue us for sure if the old lady ever harm her children.
It is very difficult to find that line that separates what is reasonable and excessive.
But as of right now, I worry more about this neighbor finding some other reason to sue us than the old lady as she has law suits against just about every other neighbors around here.

 

[Crunchie]

Um, I don't think you're a bad neighbor. At all....

I know that none of us were there, but you were, and you feel that you knew this woman wasn't really going to do any harm. But, me personally, if someone is standing in my doorway making threats of any sort I'm not going to trust that I'm a good judge of character in the moment! Especially if my children and/or pets are involved. No way.

Don't beat yourself up about it!

By the way, I really agree with Beekissed about asking around to see if she has any family and maybe contacting them if that's a possibility...that would be above and beyond "neighborly", but I'm sure would be much appreciated if she has any concerned family.

 

[tmk]

Awwwww..... Cute, cute puppy Newchickmama

I don't think it is a matter of good person or not.

No doubt I would be on her back getting ready to bite her head off if she was really trying to harm my family too!!
In fact, I probably will have some ill thoughts about someone that I assume killed my family.
Now will I show up with shears......no comment!

lol

 

[Crunchie]

Quote:
Yes, I know that's one way of handling it. And I won't hesitate to use one on anyone who is going to harm my family.
A lady across the street from us (don't know the family well)came and said (she heard the whole thing...

) I was a bad mom for not knocking the lady out right then. She also told me that she will sue us for sure if the old lady ever harm her children.
It is very difficult to find that line that separates what is reasonable and excessive.
But as of right now, I worry more about this neighbor finding some other reason to sue us than the old lady as she has law suits against just about every other neighbors around here.

Sue you if this lady (that you don't even know and have no connection to) causes any harm to her children? That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard of. I wouldn't sweat that too much, that case would never hold up in court. Now that neighbor sounds like the wacko in the neighborhood!! Yikes! I hope you are moving soon...ugh, I'm so glad I don't live in a subdivision. The fact that we have neighbors as close as 1/2 mile away is too close for my comfort....

 

[LinckHillPoultry]

There would be nothing in that story that I would have regretted doing. Yes, the cat might be the only family for her, and yes, that is sad that she doesn't have any family besides the cat... but indeed if the cat is perfectly fine and she has seen your dog and has taken it to believe that your dog is a threat to her cat, but has not done anything to physically harm the cat in any way, that gives the woman no right to come to your house with a pair of shears and threaten to kill "snip your dog in half". If I was a mother and my children were there, I would feel terribly uncomfortable with having an unstable woman with a pair of shears in my house threatening to kill my dog. Thus, I would have to take into consideration the safety of my children, myself, and the dog. There is nothing wrong about closing the door after her. Shears can be considered a weapon if someone is talking about using them in any way they shouldn't, such as snipping your dog in half. I would have but not even one ounce of guilt having shut the door behind her. Just take into consideration that this was not your fault.

Not everyone is this world is nice, and not everyone is going to like your dog. You cannot be friends with everyone, so just hold your friends dear.

Remember, it was not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

 

[tmk]

Quote:
I fell to the floor on my knees and was shaking after I closed the door. Then my 11 yrs old son came out with Zoe and asked what it was all about. As I was explaining to him about it in the simplest, the most direct way possible so I wouldn't scare him any more than he needed to, I realized I was the one who was making it so dramatic.
"The lady was coming at me with shears!!" "OMG she is gonna kill the whole family!!" mentality.

Yea horrible things happen everyday. The things that shouldn't have happened...if someone had notified the police, if someone had noticed...etc, etc.
My gut said this wasn't it. I guess time will tell if my gut was right.
We had a good talk about this with our children, yes that includes what they must do when strangers come to the door lecture, and I feel safe for my family just as much as I did before.

 

[bluie]

I think you acted in the probably best way possible. You protected your children (and pet) from a crazy person, and you did not OVERREACT. You are above reproach. I would think seriously about reporting this to someone, whether its her family or the police or some agency. My father had Alzheimer's for years and my mother and sister finally committed him. It was such a relief because we were afraid he was going to kill my mother. He was convinced that she was trying to poison him and that she was having affairs and that she was stealing his money. It was horrible.

 

[tmk]

Hello onthespot

That was my DH's first reaction!
"Why didn't ya call police and put it on the record! I'll do it if you can't!"

Well, I explained the reason I didn't call was not because I wasn't brave enough...lol
Since I pay taxes and am no criminal there is no reason for me to be brave to call police.
It wasn't a favor/mercy for the lady either.
I simply didn't do it because I didn't see the necessity. But what I did though was to call her church to talk to her pastor. (my neighbor goes to the same church and that's how I knew)
I'm not gonna start with the details but let's say she is on the right track. Now if she started showing symptoms of losing her mind, someone will know right away.

I didn't try to track down her family thoguh!
But I think she is okay

The intention of the original post was not to try to convince people that I was a "kind" or "nice" person. I don't need to, I already know!

My point was exactly what I've made in my dreadfully long, long post....

 

[SundownWaterfowl]

If somebody EVER came to my house threating one of my pets lives or my family members lives, I would call the police, and press charges. No matter who they are.